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Stress Management for Families and Students

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The Circle of Influence and Concern


Working with the circle of influence and concern is a constructive, visual and empowering way of recognizing the sources of stress in our life and reflecting on what we have control over and what not.

The Circle of Influence and Concern
The Circle of Influence and Concern

The Inner Circle


The inner circle of influence states everything we have control over, while still acknowledging that even these can be stress stimulating. A good example of this are our own thoughts. Many people suffer from negative, toxic thoughts about themselves, leading to feeling unempowered and feeling like you have no control.


But just because we feel or think something, doesn’t  always mean that it’s actually true.  Recognizing that how we think about ourselves and others is fully in our control, shifts the power back to us. We can choose to consciously try to think positive about ourselves, like the popular use of positive affirmations.


The Outer Circle


The outer circle of concern reflects the things that may stress us out, but we actually have no control over. It’s about everything that can have an influence on us, but we ourselves can’t really change anything about. So why stress over it?


For example, often times when we are in conflict with someone, we may overthink how they treated us. We look to ourselves and think “Maybe if I didn’t do this, or I said this instead they wouldn’t have hit or yelled at me.” When in reality, you may never know if they would have acted differently. Because we have absolutely no autonomy over their body or mind.


Or maybe we rely heavily on an apology or recognition from them in order to move on, so we try to reach out to them and maybe even apologize when it wasn’t our fault, hoping that we will receive the same. This means we are giving them the power over how we feel, live and maybe even treat ourselves.


Recognizing that we may never get what we deserve because we have no control over their behavior. This can teach us ways to let go of stressfull situations or people without giving them the power.


Application


Making these circles for ourselves can help with organizing everything we stress about and reminding that we’re not responsible for all of it. It empowers us to shift our perspective and energy on the positive impact we can have on ourselves, others and the world.

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